Episode 1 - My Thoughts

For those of you who were the recipients of my emails during the last race, you know that I leave the major recapping up to Miss Alli of Television Without Pity. Of course, I do have a few things to say:

Don, I think you're totally amazing. But, um, dude? At 69 you are the oldest person ever to run the race. Why, oh why, would you show yourself with an antique car in your promo shot? I'm not sure I'd want people to make that connection. And, while we're at it, I'd like to compliment you on your award winning wine label, and also for your comment about how you'd enjoy the ice a lot more if it was in a martini glass. I'm just trying to figure out, taking those two things into consideration, why you're the only one that commented on the inebriation of the Icelanders early on a Sunday morning? Maybe they were just coming out of church. When I lived in Ireland I went to mass a few times at a church that had a side door that led directly into a pub. It was pretty sweet. I'm guessing Iceland's kinda like that, too.

Lena and Kristy, thanks so much for being on this race. Not only did you come in third (well, it would have been second but you got lost. At least you didn't swim to the pitstop) and prove to me I made a good choice on picking you as one of my four teams, you also commented that you look like smurfs in the blue parkas. Now I can refer to you as Momons/Sisters/Striptease Aerobics Instructor/26 year old single mom of an 8 year old/ once got in a fistfight with each other/Upholding conservative Mormon values/SMURFS. Thanks for being you. La la la -a la la, la la-la la la.

Meredith and Maria: Other bottom feeders who have missed the route marker on the first leg have ended up doing just fine on this show. I believe in you. But maybe not in your belief that you are party girls as I watched you drive a snowmobile two miles an hour! Oh, and Mary Jean totally kicked your ass going up that ice wall. Sloths.

Adam and Rebecca: Oh, team Hellboy. You've never seen snow? I wonder how long y'all will last. And you hold a strong possibility of getting on my nerves after too long. But it was awesome to see someone following in the footsteps of Aaron & Arianne, Teri & Ian, Zach & Flo, and Michael & Kathy. Cut off the antlers and we'll all be okay.

Gus & Hera: I totally wanted to like you guys. Apparently, so did a lot of other people in the pool as nearly everyone picked you as part of their top four. But, um, Gus? C.I.A. (or, as Caitlin has eloquently put it, C.I.Lame)? I'm beginning to wonder if you were the one who was in charge of analyzing the August 6th 2001 PDB sorry, everyone. Let me know when I'm out of line.

Lori and Bolo: I'm going to chalk up your argumentiveness to fatigue and steroid withdrawl (thanks, Dave!) right now. I want to like you guys. Also, Lori, thanks for making the comment "My implants are frozen". Not only did it make my day, it won 5 more points for anyone who had picked you.

Freddy & Kendra: Kendra, you said monkey. I like you. And so should anyone who picked you, because it won them 5 more points.

Avi & Joe: I'm actually kind of glad to see you go because while you were funny, you were already getting on my nerves. For my yiddish humor, I'll have to go back to relying on Amy's Answering Machine.

Other random thoughts:
I know, I know, Jonathan is going to be the Colin of this season. As long as we don't run into any oxen we should be okay. But I can't hate him yet. Why? Because I'm afraid I'd be a bit like him if I'm ever on this show. Not in the yelling-at-my-team mate part, but the overall joy and exuberance he obviously has for being on the race. So, let's give him maybe just a little bit of a chance? Please?

Dude, Iceland looked awesome. And the ice lagoon where they were searching for the clue bouy? It made me want to grab a cheese slicer and some crackers.

I know some of you thought this episode was boring. How could you? It had everything an opening episode could want.

• They flew through Minneapolis!!
• People got lost!
• People used the wrong gas!
• We got to know the teams!
• They were funny!
• And stupid!
• They went somewhere they've never been before on the race!
• We got to see teams driving themselves around after nearly two races of spoonfed transportation!

Arguably, Iceland's most famous recent export is Bjork. If anyone would like a few extra points, write a song about something in the premiere episode that is set to a Bjork song (the link includes samples of her latest album).

That's it for now! Race Rocks! I will post this week's bonus question later this afternoon before I leave work. As always, if anyone would like to post comments anywhere on the blog or become a member of the blog team to post anything you like, let me know!